This is how we started the day. I was feeling all mumsy, and particularly patient, so we made cakes. Green cakes. It was awesome. Edward was awesome. We had particular fun fishing egg shell out of the mixture (cake anyone?!) and licking out bowls whilst trying not to get green hair. Then 9.30 came and we had to leave the house and it went downhill from there. A little boy suffering from no naps and 4am starts did not want to leave the house especially not without his Tractor Ted CD which unfortunately (but somewhat blissfully) was left in his father's car. We brushed this off as a minor inconvenience and carried on our way. Happily we sang a few rounds of the Wheels on the Bus and got to the Morrisons roundabout at Beccles where less than 5 minutes from our destination, he fell asleep. Still, I thought, it was less than 5 minutes, we'll still be on for our post-lunch nap so I woke him up, followed by much crying of 'back to sleep' and off we trotted to TinyTalk. The session passed without incident which was particularly surprising given that another tot ate the last chocolate biscuit, so we made our way back home for lunch. Enroute home he was sure to fall asleep so, heavy eyed, we sang more Wheels on the Bus to keep him going until we got home for lunch. Lunch was a less than mumsy concoction of couscous, a dairylea dunker and some chunky salad all 'prepared' to the repetitive chorus of 'something to eat mummy, something to eat mummy' ad infinitum. As usual I did not remove the lid from the dunker. Adults removing the lid is an offense. When you're 2 this task is absolutely 100% yours. Unfortunately this lid was particularly stubborn, so without thinking I waded in to help. 'No mummy LID BACK ON!!' was the angered reply. Sadly these things do not go back on and in a rage he threw it on the floor. I picked it up and put it on my plate. I asked Ed if he wanted to lick the top. 'No mummy, lid back on!' I explained why this was not possible and licked the lid myself. This was probably the mistake which set the rest of the day up for failure. Edward DID want to lick the lid after all. So, with the boy in full on sob and tears rolling down his cheek, I wiped the lid over the squashy cheese so there was something to lick off. I should not have done this as this inevitably meant that there was a small amount of dunky cheese missing from the pot before he dunked his first breadstick. 'Cheese back in pot Mummy!' The situation wasn't really rescued by coconut yoghurt but I do think it helped a little. Next we were on for that nap. I had so much planned for my hour of tot-free time. Mostly an engagement with a hot cup of tea and some toilet bleach (I live the life). However this was not meant to be and after some significant arguments, 45 minutes wandering around the streets with him singing the Wheels on the Pram, tears on both sides and some holey socks, I gave up, went home, gave him a digger and set about making that cup of tea. Whilst doing this the freshly holed socks came off and Edward announced he was ready to make pumpkins now. I told him that if he got me some socks to put on him we could go outside to carve them. 'No mummy get them'. Over an hour it took our battle of wills before my exhausted child went to get some socks so we could go outside to carve pumpkins. He cried. I cried. The afternoon continued in a similar fashion except for the half hour when Grandma was here and he was delightful. Consequently Edward was asleep before 6pm, I have finished the pumpkins and am now in the bath with a large wine. It is remarkable that despite this I cannot wait to see him again tomorrow (albeit I would prefer it was 5am rather than 4am) particularly as I have carved an evil Kevin Minion into one of the pumpkins. Oh and I never did get that cup of tea.
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